Thursday, January 31, 2008

Litany

Today I had better things to do than sit in the car for an hour and a half, so I took the Eclair to its spa down by the river and paid fifteen dollars to leave it there. I’ll probably regret this tomorrow morning, when I have to go back, in the rain (forecast), and pay another fifteen dollars or risk the boot.

It has been an excessively religious month for Alternate Side Parking, and I promise to reform. I could not help but notice, however, that today is the Feast of St. John Bosco. Let us pray.

St. John Bosco, pray for us.
St. Ovaltine, pray for us.
St. Hershey’s Cocoa, pray for us.
St. Nestle’s Quik, pray for us.
St. Dunkin Donuts, pray for us.
All ye Holy Products of Caffeine, pray for us.
St. Fig Newton, pray for us.
St. Graham Cracker, pray for us.
St. Ritz, pray for us.
St. Hostess Cupcake, pray for us.
St. Twinkie, pray for us
St. Sara Lee, pray for us.
Sts. Ben & Jerry, pray for us.
St. Baskin Robbins, pray for us.
St. Frozfruit, pray for us.
St. Chereokee, pray for us.
All ye Quiescently Frozen Desserts, pray for us.
Sts. M & M, pray for us.
St. Goodbar, pray for us.
St. Malted Milk Ball, pray for us.
St. Raisinet, pray for us.
Sts. Good & Plenty, pray for us.
St. Skippy, pray for us.
St. Peter Pan, pray for us.
St. Baby Ruth, pray for us.
St. Necco Wafer, pray for us.
St. Domino Pizza, pray for us.
St. Papa Gino, pray for us.
All ye Famous and Original Rays, pray for us.
St. Little Debbie, pray for us.
St. Tasty Kake, pray for us.
St. Goober, pray for us.
St. Nonpareil, pray for us.
St. Twizzler, pray for us.
St. Tootsie Roll, pray for us.
St. Cotton Candy, pray for us.
St. Popcorn, pray for us.
St. Frito, pray for us.
St. Lays, pray for us.
St. Cheez-It, pray for us.
St. Dorito, pray for us.
St. Charles Chips, pray for us.
St. Milk Dud, pray for us.
Sts. Oreo & Hydrox, pray for us.
St. Slopoke, pray for us.

(It is in the nature of litanies to last forever.)

8 comments:

Susan T. said...

Oh, holy cannoli, MJN. That's so funny. Thank you for the laugh.

lucette said...

Can I add St. Snickers and St. Chocolate Chip Muffin; and also possibly St. Chili-Cheese Fries: pray for us.

MJN/NYC said...

You can add anything you want!

St. Guacamole,
St. Hot Fudge Sundae,
St. Dairy Queen;
pray for us.
Sts. Cannoli,
St. Zuppa Inglese,
St. Tiramis├╣;
pray for us.

I love how many Mexican saints there are.

St. Flan!

erieblue said...

I especially like St. Baskin Robbins and St. Oreo and Hydrox!! How about St. Ginger Snap?

MJN/NYC said...

I LOVE St. Ginger Snap. I suppose we should also have:

St. Nabisco
St. Keebler
St. Lorna Doone
St. Post Toasties.
St. Pop Tart
St. Rice Krispies
St. Raisin Bran: pray for us.

And:

St. Chocolate Truffle, pray for us.
St. Candy Cane
St. Peppermint Patty
St. Fanny Farmer
All ye Italian and Belgian and French Chocolatiers!
St. Lindt Balls, pray for us.

Susan T. said...

St. Moon Pie, too. Did I miss St. Kit Kat?

MJN/NYC said...

Yes, thank you! St. Kit Kat. I am inspired every time I go to the newsstand or the vending machine.

St. Payday, pray for us.
St. Nougat, pray for us.
St. Toblerone, pray for us.

And we mustn't forget:

St. Oscar Mayer.

MJN/NYC said...

St. Betty Crocker, pray for us.
St. Duncan Hines!